So. I have rejoined Weight Watchers (let's hear it, yay me!!). I love WW. It's a great program, and it works. Especially when you factor in...wait for it...EXERSIZE! I've been around that block, once upon a time, and I rather enjoyed the landscape. The best part of all is that my meetings are at my gym. Included in my gym membership is 2 hrs daycare daily for both the kids, so I can work out (or - attend a WW meeting onsite). I thought to myself - how perfect is this?!? The timing is perfect, the place is perfect, the childcare situation is perfect - this is going to just be so perfect!
But you know, change is so much harder than you think.
I actually joined at the end of last year, but my meetings are on Thursdays and it just so happens that both Christmas Eve and New Years Eve fell on Thursday - and there was no meeting. So my first official meeting was this last thursday. I got on the scale, and when I saw my weight I believe the first word that I used to describe it was simply "wretched". But then a little birdy reminded me that I was there, I was in the right place. And I was going to make a change in my life. Again.
But you know, change is so much harder than you think.
I know the program. I know how to work the points. I know how to drag my butt to the gym. But - today was "officially" day 3 of week 1 and I am still struggling to fall back into place. Still haven't been to the gym and I don't know why. Embarrassment maybe. I have one pair of jeans that fit me and as I squatted down to pick up James today at church I felt them tear. Sooo not cool. I suppose now I have no CHOICE but to get with the program - I'm not buying another pair of size 22 pants. Not going to do it. I have at least 6 pairs of jeans in my closet. I'm going to fit into them - so help me God. I think that little "rip" in my jeans might just have BEEN God helping me. Reminding me that even though change is hard, sometimes it is a simple necessity. Even when it's hard, I know I can turn to Him and find strength. I know He wants me to turn to Him in order to make a change - and I think maybe that's why He made change so hard. So much harder than I thought.
Tomorrow is a new day. A fresh canvas. A clean slate. Another chance to do it right.
The more I think about it - the more I ponder and pray about this whole life change thing - I can't help but wonder if perhaps faith and health are more closely related then I might have once thought. Not exactly hand in hand - but closely linked. For in the past it has been when my faith was strongest that my health was at its peak - and when my health was at its peak that my faith was strongest.
Interesting.
Maybe it's just that when I remember how much God loves me, it helps me love me too.
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