It's 11:30, and I really should be in bed...

Yeah, it's 11:30. I should be in bed. But I'm not. Why? Because I am enjoying peace and quiet. The only me time I seem to find occurs after 10pm (when I get off work) and lasts until I close my eyes to sleep. The good news is, James doesn't relish waking up at 5:30 anymore.

It's been a crazy day. I love being an ombudsman but it's safe to say I didn't go a half hour without the phone ringing today. A couple people didn't get paid (that's what happens when you don't show up to work, even in the navy), but mostly everyone just wants to know what's going on with the schedule. As if I don't. On the one hand, it'd be great not to have to say goodbye a second time. But on the other, oh what I wouldn't give for an opportunity to look my lover in the eye. I have been thinking a lot about time lately. Initially, when it became clear that the ship may actually return home for 2 or so weeks next month, I was nothing short of pissed off. "Why do that to families?" I said. "Don't they know how excruciating deployment goodbyes are??" We discussed our mutual feeling that we hoped they wouldn't be back, just because goodbye is so exceptionally difficult. He's been gone now for 2 weeks, and so much has happened. Paige lost another tooth. The tooth fairy came. James' vocabulary increases daily now it seems...though it's difficult to tell exactly what he's saying unless you know his language. How could I wish away that time that could be spent together? Now that we're IN it, of COURSE I want him home. Even if it's for a mere 2 weeks. Yes goodbye sucks. No I don't want to do it again. Yes the kids become impossible for a good week or so when Don leaves. No I don't want to go through that again. But if he can have just two more weeks with us, who knows what he might be able to witness. And heck, he could even help me put the beds together that I ordered for the kids...and maybe even borrow Jim's truck to haul the old one away!!! Haha here he's not even home and I'm already finding work to be done.

I've been beating myself up over the fact that I can't seem to keep up with the housework. I even re-created my chore calendar. Every day I have set tasks that need to get done. It helps a little, but really I'd rather just play with the kids. Don't get me wrong, we're not in shambles...but I feel like I have so little time, as long as the kitchen is clean and the toilets aren't filthy, as long as I manage to run the vacuum a couple times a week - it could always be worse. We bought a carpet cleaner before he left, so what's the worst that can happen really? There's just no time, when I start work at 2, to accomplish everything and still give the kids the attention they deserve.

Physically, I feel good. I've been working out on my elliptical and working abs and triceps. I'm paranoid I'm going to wind up with what has been pleasantly dubbed "Angel Wings". You know, that flabby underarm skin that just sort of hangs there with no real place to go. I've lost 40 pounds since surgery, and it feels great. The best part...my butt is shrinking. That's always a plus.

Not much else to say for now. I changed the name of my blog. "Faith and Health Revisited" was a good name...but really how long would "revisted" apply? And I'm still all over the faith, I'm still all over the health, but there's so much more to me than getting skinny and having faith. So much more to this life that I live. Hence the new name. Thanks for reading my ramblings...that's just about all they amount to - but you can get the gist of what's on my mind, and hopefully these late night musings might just start happening more often. God knows I could use an outlet, even if it means I lose an hour of sleep.

Goodnight...