The only constant is change...

When I last wrote, the ships' schedule had just changed and I was of the belief that I wouldn't see my love until the spring. Shortly after that blog the schedule changed yet again - I do believe we saw 3 changes in 7 days - and Don came home last Tuesday! It seems as if they'll be here for a period of approximately three weeks, but there is some speculation that he may be around for a week or two longer. Speculation is everywhere though, so I have to take everything with a grain of salt and enjoy the time we have, however long or short it may prove to be. He had the day off yesterday, and it was wonderful. We did some running around, got him some new shoes for the gym, and had a great evening with the kids. They do love their daddy!

For those of you that are not aware, Don was selected for Senior Chief this year! I'm so proud of him, and so happy to see that his hard work and dedication to the navy is paying off. He broke the news to me though yesterday that his advancement may come at a bit of a price where our next transfer is concerned. At the same time though it also may benefit us. Sometimes the navy can be so fickle. To explain: because he is a now a Senior Chief, he cannot simply go to Goose Creek (Naval Nuclear Power Training Command, or NNPTC) as a general instructor. He would need to fill a more supervisory billet (job spot), of which there are fewer to be had. Our plans to transfer in March 2011 may not come to fruition. We could be bumped back a matter of months into later next year. On the flip side, given that there are now 3 newly advanced Electrician's Mate Chief selectees in Reactor department (Don's rate) - they may be willing to let him go before the end of deployment and we could find ourselves traveling back to South Carolina much earlier than anticipated. It will all depend on when a billet becomes available at NNPTC. He'll be calling his detailer (the man who assigns the sailors to their billets) before the end of the month and we should know more then.

It's so bittersweet, the thought of leaving Washington again. We love the pacific northwest. We know that when our time in South Carolina is done and his retirement is complete, we'll be done with the navy and will likely settle in Oregon, closer to my parents. We've talked a lot about it and it's something we both very much want. Of course it will all be up to God and the job market, and what kind of job is available and where. Lucky for me my job is 100% mobile, I can take it anywhere. I support Don in doing a job that he WANTS to do, after giving 20+ years of his life to our Navy. I want him to look forward to going to work every day, and knowing that when the day is over he'll come home to us. We've never been afforded that lifestyle, and I very much look forward to it...we both do. The kids don't know that our life is different from most, as it's all they've ever known - but I've explained to Paige that even on shore duty, daddy will never have to go out to sea and he'll be able to come home almost every night, duty nights being the exception. She's excited for that. South Carolina is not my favorite place in this nation of ours. There's not much to do as a family. That is one thing that we love about Washington - if given an opportunity, there's always somewhere to go together, something fun to do. Rarely however does an opportunity seem to arise. It will be nice though in South Carolina, to have our house back. To live in a place that is truly ours, that we can do whatever we want to. Don has projects for the house he'd like to fulfill - he wants to tile the kitchen floor...and I'm sure after 3 years with renters we'll need new carpet. I miss my storm door that slides from solid glass to a screen. I miss my ceiling fan with the remote control. I miss my little garden out back, and canning jalepeno's on the turkey fryer element, on the back patio with a heat index of 115! I miss riding horses. My God do I miss riding horses. All these things will be wonderful to get back to. It will be difficult to be so far again from family, but we are secure in the knowledge that it won't be forever, and when all is said and done we'll return to the Pacific Northwest...where we can buy our "forever house", and install a sliding screen storm door, a ceiling fan with a remote, and buy a couple of horses for the pasture. It will all come true one day, what feels like a lifetime of bending and turning at the whim of the navy will pay off.

I'm convinced of it.

Heavy sigh...

Welp. The decision has been made, and daddy will not be coming home this year. So here I sit, reminding myself of the silver lining, listening to Bob Marley tellin' me every little thing is gonna be alright, and letting it slowly sink in.

I don't like it. But it's gonna be alright. I'm glad I didn't tell the kids. I'm trying not to be disappointed but of course there's bound to be some. When he left we were prepared for this...but within the last week I started to let myself get excited - and I knew that was a bad idea. I even vocalized that it was a bad idea. But the thought of sharing a laugh together again just kept creeping in. Ultimately I'm relieved, and so happy to know that when he comes home we'll never have to say goodbye again. Seriously. NEVER. Not for a good 50 years anyways. Hell, by the time we're old enough to die the life expectancy will probably be 110. So that gives me 80 more years to torment him.

I did alot today. I plunged the toilet again. Stupid toilet. I put the kids' beds together, took them apart and put them together again. The rails were too high so when we got the foundations and mattresses up there the things were three feet high. I tore apart Paige's old bed with a wedge and a hammer. That was fun...and a great outlet ;) After that we went to Fred Meyer's and I knocked out what would have been a trip to Safeway and a trip to Target. Let's hear it for spending more money just to save a little time. God knows it's always one or the other that you have more of. Seems if you have more money then you can count on less time, and if you have more time odds are there's not much money to be had. Came home from Fred's just in time to start work. Knowing I didnt' have a lot of time, I bought a pizza for the kids for dinner, turns out I bought one they didn't like. I guess that could be a blessing in disguise. Reminds me of one day last week I was running late coming home from Everett - I bought them happy meals and let them eat in the car. When we got home I realized Paige hadn't eaten her fries. So I asked her about it - "Don't you want to eat your fries?" she says "Nah, they're not healthy.". I was proud of her for thinking about eating healthy, at the same time wondering to myself how she could actually be MY kid.

I do alot. Psh. I do it all. But by the grace of God.

I need to go to bed, I'm tired and have a lot to knock out tomorrow. I just needed to ramble for a few. I start my mini vacay tomorrow, and my mom is coming to visit on Friday! I can't wait to see her. I gain so much strength from her. It's funny, I never start to feel weak until I stop long enough to think about everything I do. So...I'm going to stop thinking about it now.

Before I go - a note to bring a smile. A few nights ago, at a little before 8, I told Paige it was bedtime, and to go potty and brush her teeth. So she did all that, then she came out and said "Mama, the toilet won't go down AGAIN." See, I think James put something in the toilet and it doesn't flush right. I need to get maintenance in here to fix it because I'm tired of plunging it...but I have to clean my house first. So anyways, she says "Mama, the toilet won't go down again." So I got up, grabbed the plunger and went into the bathroom. She watched with the kind of curiousity that only she can muster, while I finally got the water to drain. I looked at her and said "See? Just like that!". With the most innocent expression, she looked at the toilet, then looked up at me and said "Mama, that was FASCINATING!" :) I tried to stifle a laugh but did a pretty poor job of it.

Yep. That's my girl!!


Goodnight...

It's 11:30, and I really should be in bed...

Yeah, it's 11:30. I should be in bed. But I'm not. Why? Because I am enjoying peace and quiet. The only me time I seem to find occurs after 10pm (when I get off work) and lasts until I close my eyes to sleep. The good news is, James doesn't relish waking up at 5:30 anymore.

It's been a crazy day. I love being an ombudsman but it's safe to say I didn't go a half hour without the phone ringing today. A couple people didn't get paid (that's what happens when you don't show up to work, even in the navy), but mostly everyone just wants to know what's going on with the schedule. As if I don't. On the one hand, it'd be great not to have to say goodbye a second time. But on the other, oh what I wouldn't give for an opportunity to look my lover in the eye. I have been thinking a lot about time lately. Initially, when it became clear that the ship may actually return home for 2 or so weeks next month, I was nothing short of pissed off. "Why do that to families?" I said. "Don't they know how excruciating deployment goodbyes are??" We discussed our mutual feeling that we hoped they wouldn't be back, just because goodbye is so exceptionally difficult. He's been gone now for 2 weeks, and so much has happened. Paige lost another tooth. The tooth fairy came. James' vocabulary increases daily now it seems...though it's difficult to tell exactly what he's saying unless you know his language. How could I wish away that time that could be spent together? Now that we're IN it, of COURSE I want him home. Even if it's for a mere 2 weeks. Yes goodbye sucks. No I don't want to do it again. Yes the kids become impossible for a good week or so when Don leaves. No I don't want to go through that again. But if he can have just two more weeks with us, who knows what he might be able to witness. And heck, he could even help me put the beds together that I ordered for the kids...and maybe even borrow Jim's truck to haul the old one away!!! Haha here he's not even home and I'm already finding work to be done.

I've been beating myself up over the fact that I can't seem to keep up with the housework. I even re-created my chore calendar. Every day I have set tasks that need to get done. It helps a little, but really I'd rather just play with the kids. Don't get me wrong, we're not in shambles...but I feel like I have so little time, as long as the kitchen is clean and the toilets aren't filthy, as long as I manage to run the vacuum a couple times a week - it could always be worse. We bought a carpet cleaner before he left, so what's the worst that can happen really? There's just no time, when I start work at 2, to accomplish everything and still give the kids the attention they deserve.

Physically, I feel good. I've been working out on my elliptical and working abs and triceps. I'm paranoid I'm going to wind up with what has been pleasantly dubbed "Angel Wings". You know, that flabby underarm skin that just sort of hangs there with no real place to go. I've lost 40 pounds since surgery, and it feels great. The best part...my butt is shrinking. That's always a plus.

Not much else to say for now. I changed the name of my blog. "Faith and Health Revisited" was a good name...but really how long would "revisted" apply? And I'm still all over the faith, I'm still all over the health, but there's so much more to me than getting skinny and having faith. So much more to this life that I live. Hence the new name. Thanks for reading my ramblings...that's just about all they amount to - but you can get the gist of what's on my mind, and hopefully these late night musings might just start happening more often. God knows I could use an outlet, even if it means I lose an hour of sleep.

Goodnight...

Sleep? Who needs THAT?

So, over the course of the last however many weeks - so easy to lose track of them - it has become apparent to me that "getting a good nights' sleep" is not a perk of motherhood. During Don's last underway, James just decided he'd start coming into our room and climbing into bed with me around 3 or 4 in the morning. Really I welcomed the fact that he'd climb in bed and go back to sleep, because before that he'd just get up and decide he was ready to start the day. It didn't matter to him that it was still dark outside, he was awake and it was time to play. A squirmy, wiggly 2 year old is not exactly sleep conducive, but at the same time even restless sleep is better than none!

A few nights ago, after James had come and crawled in bed with Don and I, I had just drifted back to sleep when something else was just...not right. I woke up realizing Paige was calling me from her room. Paige never does that - but she was calling me, and said she was scared. I crawled out from the James and Don sandwich I was in and went to rescue my sweet pea. She had a dream about a monster on the wall. It threw her in the trash. "But it's ok mama," she said "I climbed right back out!". Still scared her though, enough to not want to sleep alone. She asked if she could come crawl in bed with daddy and I, and I chuckled as I told her there was just no room - and to slide over so I could climb in bed with her. I stayed there for the remainder. Her bed is pretty comfy, but then any bed is comfy when you are cuddling with your babies.

Then there was this last Thursday, wee morning hours. James came into my room as always, but he was whimpering. I flipped up the blanket and said "come on bud". He climbed in bed and then scooted right out again. That's just about the exact moment that I smelled it - and I knew. UGH. Puke. Yep. He was sick. I glanced at the clock, and really wished I hadn't when I realized it was 1:45am. So I got out of bed, stripped James' bed and threw his sheets in the wash. Remade his bed and rocked him back to sleep. He was sick a few times the next morning, but as with any 24 hour bug he recovered splendidly.

For the last 2 years I've wondered when I would finally start to get decent sleep - and last night drove home that it will surely never happen. Poor Paige. Just as I found myself on some tropical beach, basking in the sun and drinking a cocktail out of a pineapple shell, the cabana boy came to adjust my beach umbrella and said "Mom, I threw up..." Funny - that cabana boy sounded alot like my little princess. The fog closed in on my tropical paradise as I responded to another unfortunate episode of regurgitation. This time it was 3:30am. Sheets went into the wash, and she got settled back in. 4:15 rolls around, and James is back in my room... "come on bud". He climbs in bed and drifts back to sleep - 10 minutes later Paige is back in my room, sick again. I got up to help her, and James followed. SOOOO, we all got up. At 4:30. Nick Jr. has some pretty stupid cartoons at 4:30 in the morning.

Puke, poo, attitudes, fighting. Whining, crying. Worry.

Kisses, hugs, giggles, laughter, tickles. Love, growth, learning.

Crazy to think we moms volunteer ourselves for this...and even MORE crazy to come to the realization that I wouldn't want it any other way.

Though I must say, if I could just have 6 solid hours of sleep...once a week would be great! I'd be incredibly grateful.

Until then, thank God for Keurig... :)

Has it really been 6 weeks?

So much seems to happen, sometimes so fast!

The good news is, I've somehow fallen into a wonderful job that is absolutely perfect for me and our current circumstances. I've been on the job about 3 weeks now with ICUC Moderation Services. I get to work at home, and I couldn't possibly ask for more. I love my boss, I love the people I work with, and I am truly blessed to have been given such an opportunity.

Add to that, Don is home! He'll be with us for about a month and we're stoked. He'll be taking leave at the end of the month and I'm so happy! Not sure what we'll be doing but I'm quite certain that at least one day he's on leave I'll get my own day to go do my own thing, whatever that may be. He has a deployment coming up before the end of the year. It's sad, and it's scary, and it sucks - but it is what it is, and it's going to be the last one of his career. Now that I have a job, we were talking earlier today and it's amazing to think that by the time he retires we may very well be out of debt - and able to buy our dream "forever home". All that it takes for us to label our "forever dream home" is a couple of acres and a 30 year mortgage ;). We want land. We want horses. We want to be away from noise and city streets and craziness. I want my children to learn to ride and know what a blessing silence is. There is not enough to go around these days it seems.

The down side of me getting this job is that my church attendance has suffered. We haven't been to services in awhile. I work 6 days a week, so my days off really are spent with the family doing other things together. The kids seem to be just fine with it though, Paige still loves to sing her songs from school about Jesus and she knows He's with us when we say the blessing each night at dinnertime.

Haven't been to the gym much either. But it's still there. We go when we can, but it's been difficult getting my lack-of-planning butt in gear. I'll get there, sooner or later, but for now I'm at the tail end of figuring out how to get the work day, dinner, a work out, and play time all crammed into one day.

We'll figure it out.

We'll get there.

Lord willing.

Thanks for reading :)

Heyyy it's working!!

Waaaay back in the beginning of this blog (a whopping 3 weeks or so ago) I mentioned that I have lost myself, and I lost track of interests, hobbies, etc. Well, we had Paige and Don's birthday celebration today - even though their birthdays were a week ago - we celebrated today. It was alot of fun, Don's folks came, and Hollie was here with Payton. We also got to see Don's cousin Laura and her husband Carl, and their son Zachary. We haven't see Carl and Laura since their wedding - YEARS ago. So it was really great! AND, I found a NEW INTEREST!!

Check it out!

Don't you just freakin' LOVE it?? I love it. It was SOOOOO much fun! My first ever REAL cake decorating experience. Makes me want to take a class. Or 12. Now, isn't it just so ME, to find SUCH a counterproductive hobby? Nothing like trying to drop a hundred pounds, while falling in love with cake decorating. But really - I've been thinking about this! It would be so much fun to decorate cakes for a living. I would absolutely consider taking whatever classes I'd have to take to get certified, and even go to work for a grocery store decorating cakes. Soooo much fun - and it tasted great too!

Paige and Don thought it was pretty cool :) -so did the rest of the family. We joked that next year Don will get to pick the cake, he said black would be good (he's going to be 40). I was thinking about how much it's going to stink that he'll miss the birthday season next year - so I've been thinking about how festive our Spring will be. We'll do Christmas in April, and maybe we'll do birthdays in May...lots of chances for me to decorate cakes!

It feels really good to find something again that is just me. My own interest. My own hobby. My own really fun thing that not everyone can do/wants to do. I've been doing alot of praying - and I know many of my friends and relatives have too - that I can find my way back to that place I was at 3 years ago. This is most definately a step in the right direction.

Now then - off to find a Wilton's cake decorating class LOL...

Week two results...eh.

We had a great day yesterday! Don took me to see Avatar in 3D, it was a FABULOUS movie. I loved it. James Cameron is gifted, no question about it - gifted, and very very wealthy LOL On the way to the movie, we stopped at the Weight Watchers facility in Everett, they're open Thursdays from 7:30-11am for drop-in weigh-ins. Because my meeting is normally Thurs at 12:30, and the movie started at 12, I knew I'd miss it. The good news is, I'm down another .8 pounds! The bad news is, I'm only down another .8 pounds!! Ha. I should have expected it though, I only made it to the gym one day last week, and I definitely didn't stay within my points allowance every day. I'm actually a little surprised I lost at all. My personal goal is 10 pounds a month - I definitely need to step it up a notch if I'm going to achieve that.

Wednesday I went to the gym and walked a 5K (3.1 miles). When I checked my steps at the end of the day, I'd taken well over 11,000. ELEVEN THOUSAND!! I was pretty psyched about that. I've shaved a minute and 2 seconds off my 5K since I started this. It's still a ridiculously slow time, but it's a minute and 2 seconds faster than it was the first week of January :) When I get it under 45 minutes, then I'll start bragging. I need to get myself conditioned though, and you know what they say....slow and steady win the race. I'm not going to go all out and be burned out in 3 months time. This is something I need to stick with for the long haul. And I do mean the loooooong haul. I'm not doing this again. When this weight is gone, it's gone for good. Not losing 100 pounds 3 times in one lifetime. Once was truly enough, twice is just self destruction overcome, there will be no need for a third time.

We've begun going to church on Saturday night vice Sunday morning. Our church offers a Saturday service at 6pm, and 2 Sunday services. I love the Saturday service. Pastor Jim has been preaching for the last 2 weeks (and the next 3) about marriage, and "protecting your promise". It's an AWESOME series. Last week he spoke about the promise to persevere. Better or worse. And love - love isn't a feeling. Love is action. Love is sacrifice. If any of my readers are bored and want to give a listen to Pastor Jim (he's truly awesome!), check out www.smokeypointcommunitychurch.org/content/view/48/121/ and listen to last weeks' service. I love my church - LOVE my church. It's good to be home.

It's Paige's birthday...5 years in the making.

January 17th 2005, I woke up in the hospital after a planned overnight stay. I was being induced with my daughter...my beautiful little bundle of joy. Little did I know how much she would change me. How much she would change US. How much she would change our life. I was so full of emotion. Fear, excitement, happiness, did I mention fear... LOL So afraid I would mess up her life. And she wasn't even BORN yet! On January 17th at 3:41pm, Paige Elizabeth Rhine was given to us - truly a gift from God.

We spent the first few years of her life in Goose Creek, SC. It was so wonderful to be on shore duty, because then Don got to see every milestone, and got to live every tantrum LOL Well, almost.

Paige at 1 year


Paige at 2 years

When Paige was almost 3 we transferred back to Washington. We spent her birthday at my parent's home in Cottage Grove Oregon. I was so happy that they had a chance to see her ON her birthday. God only knows when they'll get that opportunity again.

Paige at 3 years

Paige's third year was really hard. James was born and daddy left for 7 months. Daddy had never had to deploy before in her lifetime - so she went through so many changes in such a short amount of time. But she's an amazing little girl. Resilient and smart and beautiful.

Paige at 4 years

Paige at almost 5 years

Isn't it amazing how much they change? I mean - of course they're going to grow. They're going to grow and they're going to change. They're going to mature and someday they're going to leave. 18 years is a long time, or so it seems. But looking back at the last 5, I can't help but wonder where they've gone.

It makes me want to do more. Makes me want to make more memories and have more adventures, read her more books and spend more time. I don't see her change. It's so gradual that it just happens, and looking back now I wish her life thus far had been easier for her. I know it'll get better, when Don is out of the navy - but the good news is, she doesn't know any different, so she doesn't know how hard she really has it. This lifestyle, to her, is "normal".

It's just how we roll.

And it will only get better from here.

And week one is over!

What a week.

I made it to the gym a few times, which was great, but Wednesday was a horribly stressful day, and I was so sure I was going to walk into my meeting on Thursday and find that I'd gained five pounds. I was quite pleased to learn that I had actually LOST 3.4lbs! In one week, stress triggers and all, I am down almost three and a half pounds. I really am quite pleased about that. Can't help but wonder how it'd have gone if I'd actually stayed on plan all week and made it to the gym all 5 days I had planned to! Like I said before though, it's been difficult to just jump back in and be right on track. I know I'll get there eventually, but I'm just not quite there yet. I found my WW book from 2006, and it was really interesting for me to see that I dropped 40 pounds in 4 months. I know I was working out extensively at that point, but all it does is give me more motivation to workout and do it right. If I see that I've succeeded before, right there in black and white, then I know I can do it again. I wish I didn't HAVE to do it again, but you know what they say about wishes.

Don will be home in a few days, and it'll be sooooo nice to have him back! Of course it never fails that, as soon as the ship gets underway everything goes to hell in a handbasket. Wednesday, my stressful day, was the day that the ship left Bremerton. Wednesday was the day my car decided to spaz out on me, resulting in the need for a new driveline - to the tune of a grand. And to think we owe less than $2,500 on it! I couldn't call Don of course to ask for his input, so I just made the decision to do it and sent him an email. He replied with support and made sure to tell me how comforting it was to him to know that when he was gone, even when the shit hit the fan, I could handle it without missing a step. He also said "Why couldn't it have happened after we paid it off?". Part of me is thankful it didn't - because I do love my Sorento, and I DON'T want to get rid of it. I think the temptation though of just trading it in might have won out, and I am grateful that I wasn't given the opportunity for that ha! I drove a Toyota Camry for a day, and it was fun to drive - but I like my Sorento, thankyouverymuch. I should have it back next week some time.

And on that note, I should be wrapping this up. There's still a few loads of laundry I need to take care of, and a litterbox to clean. Duty calls, as they say.

Thanks for reading :)

Not as easy as one would think...

So. I have rejoined Weight Watchers (let's hear it, yay me!!). I love WW. It's a great program, and it works. Especially when you factor in...wait for it...EXERSIZE! I've been around that block, once upon a time, and I rather enjoyed the landscape. The best part of all is that my meetings are at my gym. Included in my gym membership is 2 hrs daycare daily for both the kids, so I can work out (or - attend a WW meeting onsite). I thought to myself - how perfect is this?!? The timing is perfect, the place is perfect, the childcare situation is perfect - this is going to just be so perfect!

But you know, change is so much harder than you think.

I actually joined at the end of last year, but my meetings are on Thursdays and it just so happens that both Christmas Eve and New Years Eve fell on Thursday - and there was no meeting. So my first official meeting was this last thursday. I got on the scale, and when I saw my weight I believe the first word that I used to describe it was simply "wretched". But then a little birdy reminded me that I was there, I was in the right place. And I was going to make a change in my life. Again.

But you know, change is so much harder than you think.

I know the program. I know how to work the points. I know how to drag my butt to the gym. But - today was "officially" day 3 of week 1 and I am still struggling to fall back into place. Still haven't been to the gym and I don't know why. Embarrassment maybe. I have one pair of jeans that fit me and as I squatted down to pick up James today at church I felt them tear. Sooo not cool. I suppose now I have no CHOICE but to get with the program - I'm not buying another pair of size 22 pants. Not going to do it. I have at least 6 pairs of jeans in my closet. I'm going to fit into them - so help me God. I think that little "rip" in my jeans might just have BEEN God helping me. Reminding me that even though change is hard, sometimes it is a simple necessity. Even when it's hard, I know I can turn to Him and find strength. I know He wants me to turn to Him in order to make a change - and I think maybe that's why He made change so hard. So much harder than I thought.

Tomorrow is a new day. A fresh canvas. A clean slate. Another chance to do it right.

The more I think about it - the more I ponder and pray about this whole life change thing - I can't help but wonder if perhaps faith and health are more closely related then I might have once thought. Not exactly hand in hand - but closely linked. For in the past it has been when my faith was strongest that my health was at its peak - and when my health was at its peak that my faith was strongest.

Interesting.

Maybe it's just that when I remember how much God loves me, it helps me love me too.

A guide for 2010

I borrowed this from a friend of mine (thanks Becky!) on facebook. I liked it. Alot.

Handbook 2010

Health:
1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants..
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy
5. Make time to pray.
6. Play more games
7. Read more books than you did in 2009 .
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day
9. Sleep for 7 hours.
10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk daily. And while you walk, smile.

Personality:
11. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
14. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
16. Dream more while you are awake
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need...
18. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with His/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23. Smile and laugh more.
24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree....

Society:
25. Call your family often.
26. Each day give something good to others.
27. Forgive everyone for everything..
28. Spend time w/ people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
30. What other people think of you is none of your business.
31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friend> will. Stay in touch.

Life:
32. Do the right thing!
33. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
34. GOD heals everything.
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change...
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
37. The best is yet to come..
38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

Faith and health...revisited

A new year.

A new me?

Nah. The same old me, just hopefully new packaging.

A better me?

Most definately.

In 2006, with the help of diet and exersize, I dropped alot of weight. I was healthy. I was comfortable in my own skin, AND my own clothes!! When I got pregnant with James that all went by the wayside. I've gained it back, every last pound.

In 2006, though I was thousands of miles from my family, for the first time in my adult life I was spriritually healthy. I became a member of a church back in Goose Creek, SC. I loved it there. I sang in the choir and cried when I sang The Old Rugged Cross. It felt like home. We moved back to Washington and I didn't go to church for nearly 2 years.

In 2006, if you'd ask me to tell you a little bit about myself, I probably would have told you about my family, my love of horses and the stable where I took riding lessons. I'd have mentioned my monthly bunko night, my Avon business and maybe even my obsession with Diet Rockstar energy drink. Today, if you asked me, I'd say "proud wife and mommy of 2 beautiful children". That's not to say I'm not proud of my children, that's not to say there's anything WRONG with such an answer. But to put it in perspective, where did I go? What happened to my likes? My interests? Where did I go? And who am I again?

I'll tell you who I am.

I'm a woman. An unhealthy woman. A woman with more love for her family than one could ever imagine...but love for herself? Lacking. I don't love myself. I like myself - but I don't love myself. I take care of my children. I take care of the families onboard USS Abraham Lincoln. I take care of my husband, when he's actually home. But somewhere in there, I have forgotten me. I haven't been taking care of me. It's almost as if I have just been refusing to nurture myself. I've been putting garbage into my body, and my soul has been left starving by my neglect. I'm not proud of that, but I'm glad I can recognize and acknowledge it.

The common thread of the "healthy" me was the year 2006. It just so happens that on January 1st of 2006, I dubbed it "The year of health and faith". I exersized. I went to weight watchers. I discovered that I had personal interestss, and I followed them! It all worked! I was in desperate need of change - and I did it! Deja Vu anyone? And so...here we are. Health and faith - reprioritized in order of importance. 2010, the year of Faith and Health...revisited.

Here's to me.