Christmas has come and gone...

Ahhhhh the food is gone and the gifts are opened. 

Well, ok so the food is not ENTIRELY gone.  There are leftovers in the fridge of course - some ranch potatoes and some broccoli casserole still hanging around just waiting to add another layer to my thighs.  But holy smokes what a great dinner we had on Christmas eve.  Don did a duck on the grill, and he did an AMAZING job with it.  The thing about duck - it's pretty rich...but it's also a pretty small bird when compared with a pheasant or a turkey.  Our duck was 6 pounds.  We didn't eat it all, but came pretty darn close.  Is it my imagination, or are ducks all dark meat?  It was SO YUMMY.  Really - pure yum.

My husband is (as I've called him before) a grill God.  I don't know how he does it, but he does it and he does it well, so I don't ask any questions.

Christmas morning came bright and early (after the elves were up far too late).  It was a great morning though, the kids were over the top excited, and Paige about lost it when she finally noticed that big ole' Barbie house over next to the tree.

It was pretty funny, she didn't notice it for a good 5 minutes...how she missed it I'll never know.

I made Ina Garten's Holiday Sticky Buns for breakfast Christmas morning.  A carbohydrate nightmare, but OMG they nearly rivaled the duck.

Nearly.

I sent 6 of them home with my good friend Donna, she has 4 nine year old boys and a (?) year old husband - I knew they'd get eaten UP, and quickly.  If they'd have stayed here, they'd have been, you guessed it, eaten UP...and of course there'd have been yet ANOTHER layer added to my thighs.  What is it exactly about the holidays and thighs?

Don shopped for me at Pandora this year - he bought me the most beautiful charm bracelet a woman could ask for - and I in turn bought him a new locking console for his jeep.  It's got a hidden compartment for his stereo deck, that locks, and it's also iPod compatible.  It was something that I felt he deserved after his previous deck was stolen on our trip from Washington to South Carolina. He installed it today and was so stinking cute - like a giddy school boy.

Ultimately, this has been an amazing Christmas.  Not because of any charm bracelet or new vehicular lock box.  Not because we had an amazing duck or delectible sticky buns.  What has made this holiday season so phenomenal has been the company. 

Our little family is together for a whole fourteen days - and we do not take these moments for granted.  There are material things that will always make us smile, and make us feel good - but the best part of it all is the memories made.  The time appreciated and not taken for granted.  The love that we share as we cuddle together and watch silly movies and goofy reality TV (the kids still lose their minds over AFV and Wipeout). 

What we have is amazing, and beautiful, and real.  It is something we fight for and live for and love for. 

We are the Rhine family. 

We are unbreakable, unstoppable, and undeniable.

Merry Christmas..with love.

~

Where exactly DOES the time go?

WOW!!

I just realized I haven't blogged since August of last year.  Of course I have my constant Facebook updates, and you can find me on Tumblr too.  But there's something therapeutic about blogging...and I assure you, after the last year I could TOTALLY use some therapy! 

I need to write more. 

I need to become more organized.

 

I need a cleaner house.

Eh, one out of three ain't bad, right?  Let's go with baby steps for the win.

What a year it has been!

Paige turned 6 in January. Don was deployed.

James turned 3 in February. Don was still deployed.

Don finished a 7 month deployment in April.  That's when we moved our family and all of our STUFF 3,000 miles across the country to South Carolina.   It was a fun trip in the Winnebago, we did a lot of driving, and a lot of singing...

The kids did a lot of coloring, and some bickering.

For every frown or disagreeable moment, there was at least one bout of laughter, and a smile or two to be had.

Even Pepper enjoyed himself...he did a lot of - well - riding.  It was nice of him though to keep track of the map for us.

Don did most of the driving.  I drove for a day...or maybe it was a few hours.  It was incredibly windy, which translated into "Becca speak" is oh-my-God-how-do-you-keep-this-thing-on-the-road scary.  We got hit by a ginormous dust devil going through Utah that pushed us across the freeway and onto the opposite shoulder.  I thought we were goners, it was, by far, the scariest vehicular moment of my life.  Don was driving. 

We got to South Carolina in April and came right to the house!  It was nice to be back, our renters didn't destroy it, but it really could use new carpet and some new paint.  That'll be my goal for the first part of the new year.  I want to get the kids' rooms in shape.  They are the priority after all.

Let's see - what else?

Don left for Virginia in September. 

Thanks to the US Navy, he'll be working in Virginia until September 2012, but we're blessed that he makes it home once a month or so for the weekend.  The distance is only 400 miles - we've endured much much farther distances than that.

It's CHRISTMAS! 
(This is our tree)

Even with chaos surrounding us and a life that we only pretend we can control, there are still beautiful moments.  Treasured, God-given moments spent together, not to be taken for granted.

Ultimately, it's been an insane crazy, crazy insane year.  We've been through a lot, but we're still truckin'.  We get through it, because it's all we can do.  I promise to blog more frequently, for my own sake as well as for the sake of my friends and family that may or may not get tired of listening to me ramble endlessly on and on into oblivion.

"Live a good life - for in the end it's not the years in a life, but the life in the years."

~ Abraham Lincoln ~

The only constant is change...

When I last wrote, the ships' schedule had just changed and I was of the belief that I wouldn't see my love until the spring. Shortly after that blog the schedule changed yet again - I do believe we saw 3 changes in 7 days - and Don came home last Tuesday! It seems as if they'll be here for a period of approximately three weeks, but there is some speculation that he may be around for a week or two longer. Speculation is everywhere though, so I have to take everything with a grain of salt and enjoy the time we have, however long or short it may prove to be. He had the day off yesterday, and it was wonderful. We did some running around, got him some new shoes for the gym, and had a great evening with the kids. They do love their daddy!

For those of you that are not aware, Don was selected for Senior Chief this year! I'm so proud of him, and so happy to see that his hard work and dedication to the navy is paying off. He broke the news to me though yesterday that his advancement may come at a bit of a price where our next transfer is concerned. At the same time though it also may benefit us. Sometimes the navy can be so fickle. To explain: because he is a now a Senior Chief, he cannot simply go to Goose Creek (Naval Nuclear Power Training Command, or NNPTC) as a general instructor. He would need to fill a more supervisory billet (job spot), of which there are fewer to be had. Our plans to transfer in March 2011 may not come to fruition. We could be bumped back a matter of months into later next year. On the flip side, given that there are now 3 newly advanced Electrician's Mate Chief selectees in Reactor department (Don's rate) - they may be willing to let him go before the end of deployment and we could find ourselves traveling back to South Carolina much earlier than anticipated. It will all depend on when a billet becomes available at NNPTC. He'll be calling his detailer (the man who assigns the sailors to their billets) before the end of the month and we should know more then.

It's so bittersweet, the thought of leaving Washington again. We love the pacific northwest. We know that when our time in South Carolina is done and his retirement is complete, we'll be done with the navy and will likely settle in Oregon, closer to my parents. We've talked a lot about it and it's something we both very much want. Of course it will all be up to God and the job market, and what kind of job is available and where. Lucky for me my job is 100% mobile, I can take it anywhere. I support Don in doing a job that he WANTS to do, after giving 20+ years of his life to our Navy. I want him to look forward to going to work every day, and knowing that when the day is over he'll come home to us. We've never been afforded that lifestyle, and I very much look forward to it...we both do. The kids don't know that our life is different from most, as it's all they've ever known - but I've explained to Paige that even on shore duty, daddy will never have to go out to sea and he'll be able to come home almost every night, duty nights being the exception. She's excited for that. South Carolina is not my favorite place in this nation of ours. There's not much to do as a family. That is one thing that we love about Washington - if given an opportunity, there's always somewhere to go together, something fun to do. Rarely however does an opportunity seem to arise. It will be nice though in South Carolina, to have our house back. To live in a place that is truly ours, that we can do whatever we want to. Don has projects for the house he'd like to fulfill - he wants to tile the kitchen floor...and I'm sure after 3 years with renters we'll need new carpet. I miss my storm door that slides from solid glass to a screen. I miss my ceiling fan with the remote control. I miss my little garden out back, and canning jalepeno's on the turkey fryer element, on the back patio with a heat index of 115! I miss riding horses. My God do I miss riding horses. All these things will be wonderful to get back to. It will be difficult to be so far again from family, but we are secure in the knowledge that it won't be forever, and when all is said and done we'll return to the Pacific Northwest...where we can buy our "forever house", and install a sliding screen storm door, a ceiling fan with a remote, and buy a couple of horses for the pasture. It will all come true one day, what feels like a lifetime of bending and turning at the whim of the navy will pay off.

I'm convinced of it.

Heavy sigh...

Welp. The decision has been made, and daddy will not be coming home this year. So here I sit, reminding myself of the silver lining, listening to Bob Marley tellin' me every little thing is gonna be alright, and letting it slowly sink in.

I don't like it. But it's gonna be alright. I'm glad I didn't tell the kids. I'm trying not to be disappointed but of course there's bound to be some. When he left we were prepared for this...but within the last week I started to let myself get excited - and I knew that was a bad idea. I even vocalized that it was a bad idea. But the thought of sharing a laugh together again just kept creeping in. Ultimately I'm relieved, and so happy to know that when he comes home we'll never have to say goodbye again. Seriously. NEVER. Not for a good 50 years anyways. Hell, by the time we're old enough to die the life expectancy will probably be 110. So that gives me 80 more years to torment him.

I did alot today. I plunged the toilet again. Stupid toilet. I put the kids' beds together, took them apart and put them together again. The rails were too high so when we got the foundations and mattresses up there the things were three feet high. I tore apart Paige's old bed with a wedge and a hammer. That was fun...and a great outlet ;) After that we went to Fred Meyer's and I knocked out what would have been a trip to Safeway and a trip to Target. Let's hear it for spending more money just to save a little time. God knows it's always one or the other that you have more of. Seems if you have more money then you can count on less time, and if you have more time odds are there's not much money to be had. Came home from Fred's just in time to start work. Knowing I didnt' have a lot of time, I bought a pizza for the kids for dinner, turns out I bought one they didn't like. I guess that could be a blessing in disguise. Reminds me of one day last week I was running late coming home from Everett - I bought them happy meals and let them eat in the car. When we got home I realized Paige hadn't eaten her fries. So I asked her about it - "Don't you want to eat your fries?" she says "Nah, they're not healthy.". I was proud of her for thinking about eating healthy, at the same time wondering to myself how she could actually be MY kid.

I do alot. Psh. I do it all. But by the grace of God.

I need to go to bed, I'm tired and have a lot to knock out tomorrow. I just needed to ramble for a few. I start my mini vacay tomorrow, and my mom is coming to visit on Friday! I can't wait to see her. I gain so much strength from her. It's funny, I never start to feel weak until I stop long enough to think about everything I do. So...I'm going to stop thinking about it now.

Before I go - a note to bring a smile. A few nights ago, at a little before 8, I told Paige it was bedtime, and to go potty and brush her teeth. So she did all that, then she came out and said "Mama, the toilet won't go down AGAIN." See, I think James put something in the toilet and it doesn't flush right. I need to get maintenance in here to fix it because I'm tired of plunging it...but I have to clean my house first. So anyways, she says "Mama, the toilet won't go down again." So I got up, grabbed the plunger and went into the bathroom. She watched with the kind of curiousity that only she can muster, while I finally got the water to drain. I looked at her and said "See? Just like that!". With the most innocent expression, she looked at the toilet, then looked up at me and said "Mama, that was FASCINATING!" :) I tried to stifle a laugh but did a pretty poor job of it.

Yep. That's my girl!!


Goodnight...

It's 11:30, and I really should be in bed...

Yeah, it's 11:30. I should be in bed. But I'm not. Why? Because I am enjoying peace and quiet. The only me time I seem to find occurs after 10pm (when I get off work) and lasts until I close my eyes to sleep. The good news is, James doesn't relish waking up at 5:30 anymore.

It's been a crazy day. I love being an ombudsman but it's safe to say I didn't go a half hour without the phone ringing today. A couple people didn't get paid (that's what happens when you don't show up to work, even in the navy), but mostly everyone just wants to know what's going on with the schedule. As if I don't. On the one hand, it'd be great not to have to say goodbye a second time. But on the other, oh what I wouldn't give for an opportunity to look my lover in the eye. I have been thinking a lot about time lately. Initially, when it became clear that the ship may actually return home for 2 or so weeks next month, I was nothing short of pissed off. "Why do that to families?" I said. "Don't they know how excruciating deployment goodbyes are??" We discussed our mutual feeling that we hoped they wouldn't be back, just because goodbye is so exceptionally difficult. He's been gone now for 2 weeks, and so much has happened. Paige lost another tooth. The tooth fairy came. James' vocabulary increases daily now it seems...though it's difficult to tell exactly what he's saying unless you know his language. How could I wish away that time that could be spent together? Now that we're IN it, of COURSE I want him home. Even if it's for a mere 2 weeks. Yes goodbye sucks. No I don't want to do it again. Yes the kids become impossible for a good week or so when Don leaves. No I don't want to go through that again. But if he can have just two more weeks with us, who knows what he might be able to witness. And heck, he could even help me put the beds together that I ordered for the kids...and maybe even borrow Jim's truck to haul the old one away!!! Haha here he's not even home and I'm already finding work to be done.

I've been beating myself up over the fact that I can't seem to keep up with the housework. I even re-created my chore calendar. Every day I have set tasks that need to get done. It helps a little, but really I'd rather just play with the kids. Don't get me wrong, we're not in shambles...but I feel like I have so little time, as long as the kitchen is clean and the toilets aren't filthy, as long as I manage to run the vacuum a couple times a week - it could always be worse. We bought a carpet cleaner before he left, so what's the worst that can happen really? There's just no time, when I start work at 2, to accomplish everything and still give the kids the attention they deserve.

Physically, I feel good. I've been working out on my elliptical and working abs and triceps. I'm paranoid I'm going to wind up with what has been pleasantly dubbed "Angel Wings". You know, that flabby underarm skin that just sort of hangs there with no real place to go. I've lost 40 pounds since surgery, and it feels great. The best part...my butt is shrinking. That's always a plus.

Not much else to say for now. I changed the name of my blog. "Faith and Health Revisited" was a good name...but really how long would "revisted" apply? And I'm still all over the faith, I'm still all over the health, but there's so much more to me than getting skinny and having faith. So much more to this life that I live. Hence the new name. Thanks for reading my ramblings...that's just about all they amount to - but you can get the gist of what's on my mind, and hopefully these late night musings might just start happening more often. God knows I could use an outlet, even if it means I lose an hour of sleep.

Goodnight...

Sleep? Who needs THAT?

So, over the course of the last however many weeks - so easy to lose track of them - it has become apparent to me that "getting a good nights' sleep" is not a perk of motherhood. During Don's last underway, James just decided he'd start coming into our room and climbing into bed with me around 3 or 4 in the morning. Really I welcomed the fact that he'd climb in bed and go back to sleep, because before that he'd just get up and decide he was ready to start the day. It didn't matter to him that it was still dark outside, he was awake and it was time to play. A squirmy, wiggly 2 year old is not exactly sleep conducive, but at the same time even restless sleep is better than none!

A few nights ago, after James had come and crawled in bed with Don and I, I had just drifted back to sleep when something else was just...not right. I woke up realizing Paige was calling me from her room. Paige never does that - but she was calling me, and said she was scared. I crawled out from the James and Don sandwich I was in and went to rescue my sweet pea. She had a dream about a monster on the wall. It threw her in the trash. "But it's ok mama," she said "I climbed right back out!". Still scared her though, enough to not want to sleep alone. She asked if she could come crawl in bed with daddy and I, and I chuckled as I told her there was just no room - and to slide over so I could climb in bed with her. I stayed there for the remainder. Her bed is pretty comfy, but then any bed is comfy when you are cuddling with your babies.

Then there was this last Thursday, wee morning hours. James came into my room as always, but he was whimpering. I flipped up the blanket and said "come on bud". He climbed in bed and then scooted right out again. That's just about the exact moment that I smelled it - and I knew. UGH. Puke. Yep. He was sick. I glanced at the clock, and really wished I hadn't when I realized it was 1:45am. So I got out of bed, stripped James' bed and threw his sheets in the wash. Remade his bed and rocked him back to sleep. He was sick a few times the next morning, but as with any 24 hour bug he recovered splendidly.

For the last 2 years I've wondered when I would finally start to get decent sleep - and last night drove home that it will surely never happen. Poor Paige. Just as I found myself on some tropical beach, basking in the sun and drinking a cocktail out of a pineapple shell, the cabana boy came to adjust my beach umbrella and said "Mom, I threw up..." Funny - that cabana boy sounded alot like my little princess. The fog closed in on my tropical paradise as I responded to another unfortunate episode of regurgitation. This time it was 3:30am. Sheets went into the wash, and she got settled back in. 4:15 rolls around, and James is back in my room... "come on bud". He climbs in bed and drifts back to sleep - 10 minutes later Paige is back in my room, sick again. I got up to help her, and James followed. SOOOO, we all got up. At 4:30. Nick Jr. has some pretty stupid cartoons at 4:30 in the morning.

Puke, poo, attitudes, fighting. Whining, crying. Worry.

Kisses, hugs, giggles, laughter, tickles. Love, growth, learning.

Crazy to think we moms volunteer ourselves for this...and even MORE crazy to come to the realization that I wouldn't want it any other way.

Though I must say, if I could just have 6 solid hours of sleep...once a week would be great! I'd be incredibly grateful.

Until then, thank God for Keurig... :)

Has it really been 6 weeks?

So much seems to happen, sometimes so fast!

The good news is, I've somehow fallen into a wonderful job that is absolutely perfect for me and our current circumstances. I've been on the job about 3 weeks now with ICUC Moderation Services. I get to work at home, and I couldn't possibly ask for more. I love my boss, I love the people I work with, and I am truly blessed to have been given such an opportunity.

Add to that, Don is home! He'll be with us for about a month and we're stoked. He'll be taking leave at the end of the month and I'm so happy! Not sure what we'll be doing but I'm quite certain that at least one day he's on leave I'll get my own day to go do my own thing, whatever that may be. He has a deployment coming up before the end of the year. It's sad, and it's scary, and it sucks - but it is what it is, and it's going to be the last one of his career. Now that I have a job, we were talking earlier today and it's amazing to think that by the time he retires we may very well be out of debt - and able to buy our dream "forever home". All that it takes for us to label our "forever dream home" is a couple of acres and a 30 year mortgage ;). We want land. We want horses. We want to be away from noise and city streets and craziness. I want my children to learn to ride and know what a blessing silence is. There is not enough to go around these days it seems.

The down side of me getting this job is that my church attendance has suffered. We haven't been to services in awhile. I work 6 days a week, so my days off really are spent with the family doing other things together. The kids seem to be just fine with it though, Paige still loves to sing her songs from school about Jesus and she knows He's with us when we say the blessing each night at dinnertime.

Haven't been to the gym much either. But it's still there. We go when we can, but it's been difficult getting my lack-of-planning butt in gear. I'll get there, sooner or later, but for now I'm at the tail end of figuring out how to get the work day, dinner, a work out, and play time all crammed into one day.

We'll figure it out.

We'll get there.

Lord willing.

Thanks for reading :)